Imagine it’s a few days after Election Day. Your candidate(s) won! You had a big victory party to celebrate. Now what?
Well, one thing you can’t wait to do is see your friends whose candidate(s) lost, right? Come on, admit it: You know you do.
You’ll give them a big grin, slap them on the back and say, “Hey, maybe next time!” You long to rub it in a little, right?
Oh, you’ll pretend to be sympathetic, and say things like, “Well, it was a close race. Two strong candidates. Could’ve gone either way!”
But inside you’re gleeful, feeling triumphant, savoring the win – in a restrained and understated way, of course.
This is why God invented passive-aggressiveness. You can make nice while your inner dialogue does the gloating: “Yessss! We won! You’re toast! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!”
You lust to see the pained looks on their faces, a wan smile that turns into a pathetic grimace as they avert their eyes and try to change the subject to, like, the weather or something. Sweet.
Am I right? You know I am. That’s your deep-down dream, whether you voted for Obama or Romney, Cantwell or Baumgartner, Inslee or McKenna, Del Bene or Koster, Owens or Finkbeiner, Dunn or Ferguson, Drew or Wyman, Kelley or Watkins, McCloud or Sanders.
Whoever prevails in these tough, hard-fought, deeply felt races, there’ll be winners and losers – feeling happy or crappy, cheerful or tearful, woo-hooing or boo-hooing.
So…what if you could come to a big bipartisan post-election bash, where you could tweak your friends and trash their losing candidates – in an oh-so-compassionate manner, of course. After all, this is Seattle, not Chicago.
You could share a bottle or two of wine with them, and hope they might even tear up a bit. Then you’d console them magnanimously, put your arm around their shoulders, hand them a hankie and feel a thrill run up your leg.
After a few drinks you might even concede that the pendulum swings back and forth in a democracy — the worst form of government except for all the others, as Churchill said. Be the bigger person. Let your friends save a little face. You’ll feel even better about yourself.
Well, this is your lucky day: You’re invited to a big post-election bash where you can do all of the above, and more!
The Washington News Council’s 14th Annual Gridiron West Dinner will be held on Sunday, Nov. 11, at the Washington State Convention Center. This historically schizophrenic, inspiring/depressing, invigorating/eviscerating event will bring together hundreds of folks from all sides of the political divide.
The program will “toast and roast” (ambiguity intended) Governor Christine Gregoire and Congressman Norm Dicks. Both are stepping down at the end of their terms, so it’s the perfect opportunity to cheer and/or jeer two lame ducks. “Toasters/roasters” include Republicans Slade Gorton and Ralph Munro, Democrats Maria Cantwell and Brad Smith, and several others from both parties.
All candidates for statewide offices have been invited, and some of them may actually show up – especially the winners!
But here’s the hitch: You have to bet on the come, by getting your tickets or reserving a table BEFORE Election Day. Yes, you must commit to being there even if you don’t know whether you’ll be cheering or crying. Deadline: Monday, Nov. 5.
Confident that your side will win? Man up! Woman up!
Go to http://wanewscouncil.org/gridiron and click through to our “cart” to buy tickets or a table of 10. The room is filling up fast – and so far it’s half Democrats, half Republicans.
A big bipartisan crowd, where we can all “just get along” — at least for one night. Civility, toleration, peace, love and understanding will prevail – on the surface, anyway. Underneath, total war. Is this a great country, or what?
Oh, by the way, it’s Veterans Day, so we’ll honor all the veterans who fought for our right to fight all night, disagree without being (too) disagreeable, bury the hatchet (figuratively speaking), and feel good about our messy, feisty, sloppy, scrappy democracy, where no argument is ever really settled.
Got courage? Got guts? Got cojones/ovaries? Get tix! See you there.